A Lonely World By Abdulfattah Adeyemi

Loneliness saps energies, kills dreams, and suppresses enthusiasm. Depression then combines with desperation in a lethal mix of anxiety that gnaws the heart in snacks. The spirit to perform is dampened; the will to excel is curtailed. The wing to soar is clipped and the step forward towards self actualization is suspended mid-air. We struggle to stand on one leg which also sinks into low self-esteem.

How many dancers would continue to dance when not watched? How many would sing when none will listen? Life would get boring when there is none to share our deepest thoughts and feelings with and none to care whether we are happy or sad. This loneliness could be mild or deep, it could last a short while or a long time. It depends on a lot of factors. One of which could be a person’s temperament or the strength to cope.

The married could feel lonely when she has a spouse that is physically present but emotionally unavailable. Whether such a spouse is low on affection or zero inattention, any partner that is always left alone in the house, without the spouse to show love, care and communicate with, will soon feel empty inside. Similar to this sort of lonely person is a married couple who live separated in the same house for some time due to an unresolved quarrel, illness or some unavoidable inconveniences. A marriage of this sort is like a form of detention.

There are those who are married but temporarily separated from their spouses because of the job; such as long-days of work as journalists, long-distant drivers, corporate executives and members of security institutions. These are provisional, husbands without wives and wives without husbands. The lonely can also be found among students who have to travel for a while to pursue oversea studies, those who are ill and bed-ridden or those in confinements to serve prison terms.

There are those who feel lonely even in a crowd. They are surrounded by families who can cheer them up, colleagues who check on them, friends who would go the extra mile to fill their voids and acquaintances that are best of companies. Yet these people still find it difficult to connect with those around them. In this case, loneliness is only in their heads! So, they need the help of a counsellor who may look more deeply into what their problems really are. Conversely, those who are alone, yet feel crowded by unseen beings such that it is beyond mere imagination, should seek the experts to examine them. It could also be a sign of a serious mental illness.

Generally, loneliness is not something you can always avoid. But you have to patiently endure. Circumstances change, situations fluctuate and nothing lasts forever. You have to hold on to the rope of hope; not giving up on yourself. The good news is that loneliness could be a gift, an opportunity to fill your void with good thoughts.  And these thoughts, like seeds, can grow into good actions if you tend them positively.  To keep your head sane, you need to keep your mind occupied and your hands busy. You also need to connect with your Creator and reach out to your fellow beings. Even the snail needs to stick out its neck if it must move forward.

You are not alone in this lonely world. Somebody somewhere thinks about you and wishes you well. Your fruits shall ripen, your flowers shall bloom, and your sun shall soon shine again!


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